On March 3, 2009, I woke up around 5 am frightened and scared. My body was filled with cold sweat and I was shaking from head to toe. Then I started to cry. I was filled with fear and started to ponder about my family and my people's history.
My dream involved a few of my family members: father, mother, and three sisters (Geri, Der, and Kabzaug) and I being kidnapped and sent back to Laos. We were kidnapped to be apart of an insurgent group. They (the bad guys, don't recall if they were Hmong) were kidnapping mostly males but somehow they took my sisters and I instead. Anyways, we got to the camp which was located in the jungle somewhere and they put us to work right away. I remember the jungle had been deforested to make more room for the growing number of young boys who were coming into the camp.
In one part of my dream, I remember working in the jungle cutting down trees with boys 12 to 13 years old. Somehow, I befriended a few of them and attempted to escape with them. After a few failed attempts, the young boys lost hope and I became desperate. But with the help of my older sister Geri, we were not punished. Later, in one last attempt to escape the dreadful camp, my little sister Kabzaug and I successfully made it to the airport and was back in Fresno, California. But one of the leaders in the camp followed us back and was tailing us. I knew he was following us and realized they allowed us to leave believing we'll lead them to my brothers. Somehow my sister and I were able to lose the camp leader and made it home to my brothers, other sisters, and uncle Green(exact translation in Hmong). Everyone was ecstatic to see us alive but were worry about my parents and other siblings. My brother Chai asked me the details of the incident. I told him everything and at that moment an overwhelming feeling of fear came over me. I was a nervous reck and told myself it was only a dream. Instantly, I woke up.
The dream in itself was not frightening but the feelings from it were unbearable. According to my father, dreams that keep you pondering and thinking are significant and should not be taken lightly. I don't know if this dream revealed any bad omens or is a warning of some sort but it got me thinking about my parents and my family. I couldn't help but wonder if they have similar dreams about their life in Laos during the American war in Southeast Asia (a.k.a Vietnam War). I am sure my parents have far worst dreams because my father has chronic insomnia and vivid dreams. I remember growing up, I would walk by their bed room door and hear my father telling my mother his dreams and their meanings. I don't know how they deal with dreams like these. Their resilience is just beyond belief. Their will power to live amazes me and their strength to carry on empowers me. This dream brought me a step closer to understanding the effects of the traumatic war on my parents. I hope my better understanding of my parents experiences will assist me in healing their wounds of war and their sorrows of lost loved ones.
